Charles Manson, Age 83, Dead

California – Charles Manson, leader of the 1960’s cult group the ‘Manson Family’ was found dead in his hospital room early this morning. He was admitted two days earlier  with complaints of chest pains.

Hospital staff approached Manson’s private hospital room after they heard strange noises of banging and hollering at approximately 3:17 AM. When they arrived, they found him on the ground with a slit throat and 5 dead nurses in the room with him –  alongside him, a suicide note which read:

 “As I write this letter, I feel my soul rising to greatness. I am God, a great leader. These children that come at you with knives, they are your children. You taught them. I didn’t teach them. I just tried to help them stand up. But you will see, I am immortal. My body may lay here right now, but in less than 24 hours I will rise from the dead just like the great Lazarus, exactly like Jesus – because I am God!”

Charles Manson was found guilty in 1971 of conspiracy to commit the murders of seven people: actress Sharon Tate and four other people at Tate’s home; and the next day, a married couple, Leno and Rosemary LaBianca; all carried out by members of the group the ‘Manson Family’ at his instruction. He was convicted of the 1969 murders through the joint responsibility rule, which makes each member of a conspiracy guilty of crimes committed by fellow conspirators.

Charles Manson was survived by his three sons and one daughter. Funeral arrangements are currently being made where they are expecting large crowds of supporters as well as angry protesters. The Westboro Baptist Church has already announced that they will picket the funeral.